FMySCI - because spinal cord injury sucks. » It doesn’t get better

28-12-09(2:46:47)

Anonymous — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 18:23:58 +0000

You know you’ve been SCI’d way too long when you don’t use the hard vibration setting on your shower wand to pleasure yourself. You use it to blow the shit off the seat in the shower…..sigh……… FMySCI.

07-07-09(1:05:11)

Anonymous — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 23:19:48 +0000

I’m so tired of Bowel Program Roulette. What will the poop be like today – hard, dry, little rabbit pellets that take an hour to dig out and leave my ass swollen and sore, or shit so soft that it’s barely formed and causes a big, disgusting, smelly mess that sticks to your glove when you dig stim, trying (in vain) to push it out? Did I eat enough fiber/take enough Colace/drink enough water today to risk having a banana or some cheese? Did I get everything out? How much longer ’til the roids get unmanageable? FMy Bowels and FMySCI.

04-07-09(15:35:31)

Anonymous — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 17:02:37 +0000

I am sick to death of worsening pains, paralysis, dependence, lack of balance, and all the other shit that goes with quadhood. It’s almost three decades of this crap. I want it to end. I pray every night to not wake up – I used to pray for improvement and better coping. FMySCI.

13-06-09(13:01:52)

Anonymous — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 17:12:31 +0000

I’ve been injured almost 5 years. Pain all the time. On good days it’s excruciating; on bad days it’s worse. All that I am is all gone. FMySCI.

13-06-09(9:49:07)

Anonymous — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 16:59:47 +0000

I’m broken. I don’t work right anymore. The relationship with my spouse is not certain. Physically non-existant, we don’t even kiss anymore, I fully expect him to move on some day. If it comes to that, I’ll let him go.

Pain…..I can stub my toe and not feel a thing, yet the same foot will keep me up all night in burning pain.

B&B, I can’t say enough about knowing where all the restrooms are!

Every day normal things, they’re not easy any more! I’m sick of having to allow an hour, or more, just for a quick shower and getting dressed! And shoes, who in the hell can wear shoes!

There’s more, but I guess I’ve vented enough for now. FMySCI.

11-06-09(9:58:30)

Anonymous — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:03:17 +0000

My C7 injury is 23 years old. Have tried everything including stem cell therapy. 2 years ago, my husband of 36 years married a young woman!! Am undergoing divorce this year. Life sucks. I am tired of the pain, weakness and pity I see in family and friends’ faces. One day I will just take all my sleeping pills and end it. I hate this life. I do not believe in God anymore either. Nothing gets better, only deteriorates more everyday. I hate what I have become…….. FMySCI.

04-06-09(0:15:07)

Anonymous — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 09:08:49 +0000

Cruelty, Misery, Miss Nightmare if you’re lucky… pinch me someone, anyone…this is herendous… there’s not enough alcohol… oh god… i’m drowning in my own urine and suffocated by rage, it’ll better tomorrow right???? just lie to me. I wanna suck-it and f***-it… not cath-it and change-it… it makes me vomit w/ sadness. FMySCI.

03-06-09(4:55:00)

Anonymous — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 12:41:15 +0000

Of all the things I can feel, I can feel my arthritic hip and sore back. This sucks, nothing but burning below my waist, an extremely painful hip and and extremely sore back from being on bed rest for six months now because of a stupid sore which keeps going from getting better to getting worse. This pain is really pushing me to the edge, especially when it’s d*** near impossible to get a comfortable position. To top all that off, the only friends I have are the people I paid to come in and help me out. Just about nine years of being hurt and I haven’t accomplished anything. I feel like the biggest loser. FMySCI.

02-06-09(17:06:59)

Anonymous — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 21:12:43 +0000

Not sure what to say. I’m almost 6yrs post and for me it was easier in the beginning. Since my accident, I’ve needed a baclofen pump, had 3 bladder infections so bad that I had to be hospitalized, experiencing chronic pain in my back that the narcotics barely touch, and to top it all off I just tore the rotator cuff in my shoulder. Right now I’m fighting with my insurance co. because I’m trying to get a spinal cord stimulator to help ease the pain but insurance doesn’t want to pay for it. May all insurance companies burn in hell. Their objective is to deny everything. That’s how they make money. I guess I found my voice. FMySCI.

02-06-09(16:39:49)

Anonymous — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 20:44:57 +0000

I hate pain, I live with pain, I take pills, they help sometimes… yet sometimes, like now, they don’t and it just hurts. Intractable pain, it doesn’t matter what I do or how I lie it is still as bad. I just thank whatever that the pain does subside to uncomfortableness eventually. I just wish I didn’t have to screw my head up with so many drugs to make that happen. Hoping tomorrow is a better day. FMySCI.